Generic update #77

by barkerwoofer

Super boring life = no point in updating the blog. Here’s what’s up:

I want to move back to St. George. Badly. And I feel like that’s “giving up”. But the pros outweigh the cons by so much.. I miss my old friends. Jordan. Iggi. Kat.Living in Cedar, I see them once a month. Tops. Living in St. George = FUN.

Also I’m beginning to not like SUU so much.. and I don’t want to sound lazy, but I am. I feel like taking a semester at Dixie State would be good for me. 

The only thing holding me in Cedar is my job. I love Learnkey, so much. My coworkers are all awesome, and it’s awful to think about having to quit. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to choose between St. George and Learnkey. Maybe there’s a way I can commute or something. My super backup plan is to move down here and reapply to my old job at.. McDonalds.. which wouldn’t have been so bad. I would be able to work with Isabel again. But my old stalker works there again, and.. ain’t gonna happen. I worked hard to get out of a fast food job, there’s no way I’m going back.

I guess what I’m working at saying is my boss will decide on what I do, as weird as that is to say. If there’s a way I can work from St. George a few days a week, I’ll move. If not, I’ll go to SUU next semester and probably be as depressed as I am now.

That’s something weird I’ve noticed lately. I’ve been down. I haven’t been going to church. Haven’t been trying hard in class. Haven’t had much interest in wrestling even. I’ve been kind of just going through the motions.. Part of me is convinced a fresh start at Dixie will cure that, but that’s what I thought would happen when I moved to Cedar for Learnkey and SUU, and look what happened..

Am I a failure for wanting to go home and live with my mom again? Is it giving up?

Art

Spring break. Not much going on in class, but we worked with Charcoal and Conte Crayon before break and I did some shee. I messed up the crotch because haermm. Anyway I didn’t think they were as bad as my usual physical art, so boom:

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Bleh. I have a pretty huge Photoshop assignment due next week I haven’t started yet either. Too many studio classes in one semester. Next time I’m taking stupid basic classes like math and english.

More shee

I haven’t really ran since I PR’d the 5k, which is exactly what I was afraid would happen. I started up on soda again and ate a bunch of bad food this week for spring break. I went running a few days ago and it was tough.. I was surprised at how missing a week could affect me like that. Someone kick my butt and get me running again. 

I might go hiking tomorrow morning somewhere up on Dixie Rock, if construction lets me. There’s this place that lets you oversee most of the northwestern part of the city, from Stadium 8 down Bluff. I used to hike it back in 2010 after my graveyard shifts at McDonalds with Portugal. The Man. Good memories, lots of good thinking time.

It’s been such a weird two weeks musically for me too. Chris at work helped me find an awesome new band called Electric Guest. I bought the Grease soundtrack, which lead me to watch Grease 2 tonight with my mama.. and I started listening to Lana Del Rey. I actually like a lot of her songs, which is weird. My favorite is probably Off to the Races..

Clare’s birthday is today.. officially. It’s 2 am. I think I get to see Olive and them today, and I’m probably going to do some stuff with Kat again and maybe Riva. We went to McDonalds tonight like I said and saw my old friend Ashley. If you know anything about her drama and what she did to me last summer, you’ll find it interesting to know she hasn’t changed at all. Still unwilling to take responsibility for her actions, still immature. Still passive aggressive. She used to text me saying I’m a bad person and how I’d never change, and it’s funny and satisfying for me to look back and say I’ve forgiven her, and that I hope she’s doing alright. And then she makes it a point to talk about me behind my back.

I sent her a pretty lengthy “hope you’re doing alright” message a week or so back and she responded with a sort of “I was right, come back when you’re ready to apologize” response, friended me on Facebook, the whole nine yards. How hard is it to own up to the mistakes you’ve made? I don’t find it hard to apologize anymore, and I hope she can learn to be humble sometime before the second coming, because for what it’s worth, she was my best friend at some point. It’d be nice to kind of have a truce there, I guess. But I’m rambling.

I really want to move back here. I’m writing exactly what I’m thinking right now. I’m in Kellie’s old room, thinking about plans with friends tomorrow. Not worrying about bills or classes, not worrying about work. I miss being able to sit back and relax like this. I miss being able to think “Hey I’ll text Jordan and Iggi tomorrow and chill after work”. I miss staying up all night with Isabel actually for some reason.. I guess that’s part of growing up though. Maybe I need to learn to let go of nostalgia. Maybe it’s time to man up. Maybe I need to be in Cedar to better myself.

Dallin H. Oaks is speaking at my mom’s stake conference tomorrow. It’s supposed to be awesome, and I think we’re going to get there way (way) early to make sure we can see him in person. I’m pretty excited for it, honestly. Maybe that’ll spark me one way or another and help me make a choice on what to do.

  • Some “dude” cut my hair and I think he did it like his. 😐
  • I’ve been sick basically the last two weeks, which maybe I can use as an excuse for not running
  • Amazing weather in Cedar this past week. That’s one thing I’ll miss if I do move back to the STG
  • I seriously need a new laptop
  • Chargers have had an amazing offseason so far, hats off to AJ and Norv
  • That reminds me, I’ve made an effort to stop wearing my Chargers hat, which is part of the reason I slashed my hair off
  • Eh
  • I want Colton on Survivor to drop dead

Tired. Bed. Stuff.

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