My name is Michael

I've totaled 3 cars so far

Month: March, 2012

I’M TIRED

I’m just going to launch into a rant about being exhausted.

I was up probably around 7 on Wednesday, stayed up all night to finish my art homework, took a little nap, and now it’s Friday morning around 3am.. and I’m staying up tonight too.

See during my little 4 hour nap yesterday I overslept and missed an important class and I have another class this morning at 8am that I’m afraid I’ll miss if I sleep again. So friday normal classes + work means I’ll probably get to sleep sometime around 10pm tonight.. I’m just autistic enough to work out that that’s about 60 hours awake vs 4 hours of sleep. Horrible and moronic, and if I had just not put off my art homework I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m so bored right now.. it’s almost 4am and I don’t know what to do. I’m not too tired, but It’s going to suck around ten or eleven I bet.. maybe I’ll play my PS3..

Anyway, a few things since my last crappy update. I saw Hunger Games a few hours ago. Went with Clare, first showing in Cedar. Midnight. It was great, go see it. I really liked the design of the movie, if that’s the right word. District 12 (where the movie starts) has a real Great Depression look to it. The Capitol is much more futuristic and the people there have a sort of 80s look to them. Training before the games takes on real futuristic look also, like a toned down version of Tron in a way. It’s really interesting how much they change and how great everything looks. I like most movies I see in theaters, but this is really one of the better ones I’ve seen recently. See it.

And John Carter too, see that.

I started a second (?) blog on blogspot, mostly to test the software. It’s basically a menial review of my day. I aim to do it every day, but eh we’ll see. It might get wearing doing that every night. I DO like the interface there a lot more though. I’ll probably switch from WordPress to Blogspot entirely, and do this longer blog post there sometime in the future. If anyone reading this cares, probably not.

I started to play Draw Something too. I had it for about a week and didn’t like it, but almost everyone at work started to play it in the last day or two, and it’s really fun. I played it a lot while waiting for Hunger Games.

Uh yeah.

Like I said I was doing arts last night. I had to make an “alternate reality” in Photoshop from a bunch of images. I obviously procrastinated, and I didn’t even really follow the rules. Other kids in class were making shee like Alice and Wonderland, or else like floating castles..

My first idea was from a dream I had, where I was in a place I decided to call Limbo. As soon as I woke up after it, I ran to Evernote and wrote down what I could remember. It’s not really relevant, but this might be a short post otherwise, so here’s the full rundown:

I died in a car accident. I ended up in an empty stadium with a group of other dead-alive people, all of us waiting for something we couldn’t quite remember. I struck up a conversation with a lady who was excited because she had met two famous dead-alive people in the queue somewhere. Down below, I saw a friend on the lawn by the track. He called me down.
The rest of the people started to leave, and I followed them through the structure, down a flight of stairs and down a hallway. They made their way into the building. Instead of following, I took a side door outside. When I got to where my friend was, he was gone. I followed the path and found myself in a garden lined with dead mice bodies. I don’t remember feeling repulsed. I wondered what they were for. It was impossible to walk without stepping on one. A small dog resembling Russ came from around the garden and followed me, nipping at my heels playfully, stopping now and then to grab at a particularly big mouse.
The path lead me out of the garden and I noticed a large pile of human carcasses to my right. That’s all there was. Human chest pieces, blackened on the edges by what I would guess was decay. They looked like big chicken nuggets. Again, I wasn’t repulsed, nor did I throw up. I just wondered why they were there. Ahead, a similar pile stood ominously, this time guarded by a naked female. I awkwardly smiled at her and avoided her pile of dead bodies.
At this point, I realized something was wrong. All the sudden death, the fantastical shapes of the trees on the horizon, even the sun didn’t seem right. It was casting a different light. I looked down to beckon my dog forward, but he wasn’t there. I looked back and he was whining back near the first pile of bodies. I called for him but he refused to come. I guess the death was scaring him.
So I went on without him, walking along the path.
Ahead, separate piles of mangled bodies lay interwoven with no discernable end. I came to realize all of the first bodies I encountered were largely the same. Possibly the same person. These bodies were all different. Black and white, small and large, man and woman. Some were horribly disfigured, some were clean and pristine. Most were full bodies, some were not. I didn’t understand. I didn’t dare ask any of the people pulling at the bodies where I was and what was going on.
At some point, I remembered the accident. I was dead. Contrary to what you might think, I didn’t freak out, I didn’t throw up, and I certainly didn’t drop dead a second time. I was calm. It made sense. This must be heaven.. or some other place.
I figured someone would talk to me and explain eventually, so I kept walking. For a long time. The sun never went down, and I was sure it had been hours. I wasn’t tired at all. There were no towns, no cities or cars. Just piles of bodies of various sizes, and people tending to them. They all looked miserable. At some point, I realized the bodies were copies of the people tending them. It’s hard to explain. A very alive short man with long thick hair and a mustache who couldn’t be older than 30, for example, was sitting exhausted next to a pile of at least ten dead clones of himself. Some of his copies were newer, full, not yet disfigured by decay. The others were less intact and at least one was mostly skeleton. He avoided my gaze by staring somewhere near my ankles. He looked miserable and confused, and, strangely, familiar.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him, so I walked on. And on.
And on.
I didn’t get to see anyone else I recognized for a while, until I saw Ashley.
She had the biggest pile of bodies I’d seen so far. A truly disgusting pile of bodies towered far above her, twisting one day to defy gravity, making an overhanging that covered her. She looked up at me and glared into my eyes.
I walked on. I wasn’t going to ask what she was doing there. But if she was going to stand there in anger and confusion, I wasn’t. The next person I passed, an old lady, I opened my mouth.
“Excuse me,” I asked uncertainly. “Where am I?”
“Why,” she said with a jovial smile, “This is Limbo!”

Weird, right? Imagine me stuck sitting next to a bunch of dead versions of myself. It was creepy. Very similar to those mass piles of bodes you might see in a Halocaust book. My first plan for this assignment was to do that, take a bunch of pictures of myself and do like in the dream. Photoshop them into a pile, etc.

Anyway I procrastinated and Wednesday night I had to come up with something quick. It had to be done by Thursday, because I couldn’t print it Friday (class is at 8am, there’s just no time), and I had to have it done even earlier because I was going to be busy all evening.

So settled on a floating island. I wanted to incorporate some graphic design, so it wasn’t just Photoshop work. I thought that would be more fun and that it would go quicker. So I set up a sort of old timey stand and plastered a wall with posters. On the stand I put a little display for a floating mini planet. That’s how pressed for time I was, instead of taking the time to make a floating island (Think Avatar) I grabbed a planet off Google and shrunk it.

I’m reasonably pleased with it, I like the posters most. I just don’t think it fits the assignment at all.. I was supposed to take images and form a “new image”. Here, I produced my own digital artwork. The only real images were the table, bricks, and planet. I guess I’ll found out how in trouble I am in 4 hours. Oh, and the 2D girl this is a haermmesque inside joke, if you don’t know. I needed something to haermm at while I was making this. It’s not really related to the mini planet thing at all.

Image

I’ve been thinking a lot about moving back to St. George, and I’m sure it’s what I want to do. Hopefully I’ll be able to get there around May or June. I started to apply to Dixie State College. I just need to retake the ACT (ugh) because I took a residual ACT to get into SUU (which means the score I got was only good at SUU). So now I need to take one for Dixie State. I might just take the regular ACT (it’s the same test, by the way) so that when I reapply to SUU for the 2013-2014 school year I don’t end up needing another test.

Since I hit my goal of 21:59 in the 5k, I’ve been really lazy about running. I’ve had soda a few times, and had some unhealthy food.. bad, I know. I went running last night before I started my art project and my 5k time was right under 25 minutes.. regressed, but not as bad as I thought I would have. If I just get back into the habit again, I’ll probably get right back to where I was. My new goal is just 19:59. I think that’s decent.

Not much else to talk about. If you didn’t know, there’s some shee here that you might find interesting, my “2nd” blog or whatever.

Haermm.

Generic update #77

Super boring life = no point in updating the blog. Here’s what’s up:

I want to move back to St. George. Badly. And I feel like that’s “giving up”. But the pros outweigh the cons by so much.. I miss my old friends. Jordan. Iggi. Kat.Living in Cedar, I see them once a month. Tops. Living in St. George = FUN.

Also I’m beginning to not like SUU so much.. and I don’t want to sound lazy, but I am. I feel like taking a semester at Dixie State would be good for me. 

The only thing holding me in Cedar is my job. I love Learnkey, so much. My coworkers are all awesome, and it’s awful to think about having to quit. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to choose between St. George and Learnkey. Maybe there’s a way I can commute or something. My super backup plan is to move down here and reapply to my old job at.. McDonalds.. which wouldn’t have been so bad. I would be able to work with Isabel again. But my old stalker works there again, and.. ain’t gonna happen. I worked hard to get out of a fast food job, there’s no way I’m going back.

I guess what I’m working at saying is my boss will decide on what I do, as weird as that is to say. If there’s a way I can work from St. George a few days a week, I’ll move. If not, I’ll go to SUU next semester and probably be as depressed as I am now.

That’s something weird I’ve noticed lately. I’ve been down. I haven’t been going to church. Haven’t been trying hard in class. Haven’t had much interest in wrestling even. I’ve been kind of just going through the motions.. Part of me is convinced a fresh start at Dixie will cure that, but that’s what I thought would happen when I moved to Cedar for Learnkey and SUU, and look what happened..

Am I a failure for wanting to go home and live with my mom again? Is it giving up?

Art

Spring break. Not much going on in class, but we worked with Charcoal and Conte Crayon before break and I did some shee. I messed up the crotch because haermm. Anyway I didn’t think they were as bad as my usual physical art, so boom:

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Bleh. I have a pretty huge Photoshop assignment due next week I haven’t started yet either. Too many studio classes in one semester. Next time I’m taking stupid basic classes like math and english.

More shee

I haven’t really ran since I PR’d the 5k, which is exactly what I was afraid would happen. I started up on soda again and ate a bunch of bad food this week for spring break. I went running a few days ago and it was tough.. I was surprised at how missing a week could affect me like that. Someone kick my butt and get me running again. 

I might go hiking tomorrow morning somewhere up on Dixie Rock, if construction lets me. There’s this place that lets you oversee most of the northwestern part of the city, from Stadium 8 down Bluff. I used to hike it back in 2010 after my graveyard shifts at McDonalds with Portugal. The Man. Good memories, lots of good thinking time.

It’s been such a weird two weeks musically for me too. Chris at work helped me find an awesome new band called Electric Guest. I bought the Grease soundtrack, which lead me to watch Grease 2 tonight with my mama.. and I started listening to Lana Del Rey. I actually like a lot of her songs, which is weird. My favorite is probably Off to the Races..

Clare’s birthday is today.. officially. It’s 2 am. I think I get to see Olive and them today, and I’m probably going to do some stuff with Kat again and maybe Riva. We went to McDonalds tonight like I said and saw my old friend Ashley. If you know anything about her drama and what she did to me last summer, you’ll find it interesting to know she hasn’t changed at all. Still unwilling to take responsibility for her actions, still immature. Still passive aggressive. She used to text me saying I’m a bad person and how I’d never change, and it’s funny and satisfying for me to look back and say I’ve forgiven her, and that I hope she’s doing alright. And then she makes it a point to talk about me behind my back.

I sent her a pretty lengthy “hope you’re doing alright” message a week or so back and she responded with a sort of “I was right, come back when you’re ready to apologize” response, friended me on Facebook, the whole nine yards. How hard is it to own up to the mistakes you’ve made? I don’t find it hard to apologize anymore, and I hope she can learn to be humble sometime before the second coming, because for what it’s worth, she was my best friend at some point. It’d be nice to kind of have a truce there, I guess. But I’m rambling.

I really want to move back here. I’m writing exactly what I’m thinking right now. I’m in Kellie’s old room, thinking about plans with friends tomorrow. Not worrying about bills or classes, not worrying about work. I miss being able to sit back and relax like this. I miss being able to think “Hey I’ll text Jordan and Iggi tomorrow and chill after work”. I miss staying up all night with Isabel actually for some reason.. I guess that’s part of growing up though. Maybe I need to learn to let go of nostalgia. Maybe it’s time to man up. Maybe I need to be in Cedar to better myself.

Dallin H. Oaks is speaking at my mom’s stake conference tomorrow. It’s supposed to be awesome, and I think we’re going to get there way (way) early to make sure we can see him in person. I’m pretty excited for it, honestly. Maybe that’ll spark me one way or another and help me make a choice on what to do.

  • Some “dude” cut my hair and I think he did it like his. 😐
  • I’ve been sick basically the last two weeks, which maybe I can use as an excuse for not running
  • Amazing weather in Cedar this past week. That’s one thing I’ll miss if I do move back to the STG
  • I seriously need a new laptop
  • Chargers have had an amazing offseason so far, hats off to AJ and Norv
  • That reminds me, I’ve made an effort to stop wearing my Chargers hat, which is part of the reason I slashed my hair off
  • Eh
  • I want Colton on Survivor to drop dead

Tired. Bed. Stuff.

It’s March.

Daggone it. We had midterms this week. That means I’m 3/4 done as a college freshman.

Is it possible for something to DRAG on and pass really quickly at the same time? I can’t honestly say I’ve liked this first year of school, but I can say it’s been worth it. Everyone says it’ll be worth it, but it’s hard to see it when you’re rushing across the Centrum 20 times a week.. I’ll be glad to have some “real” classes this fall.. taking 5 art classes at once wasn’t my best idea ever. And all my classes are in the Centrum, which means I don’t get to go on campus.. I feel a little outcast that way. I actually took a walk around this week to look at some of the election things. Some party is actually calling itself the “Like” party, which strikes me as moronic and gimmicky.. and there’s a girl from my class at Snow Canyon that’s running for president. Now that’s a little crazy to me.

Know what’s REALLY crazy? It’s March, meaning I’ve “officially” “officially” lived in Cedar for a year. Now. Today. I moved in with some guys from work a year ago, which was fun. It’s been such a drastic change.. lots of growing.. lots of responsibility.. just kind of boring at the same time though. I love the weather here, but I still have an eye on the map. I want to get back to San Diego some day. Seriously dude.

Oh weather, that reminds me of running. I can comfortably run in 30 degree weather in a shirt and shorts. It’s funny to see people all bundled up during the afternoon. I’m either a genetic freak or I’m going to get very sick..

I haven’t really distance ran since I met my goal, which is naughty, but I have done sprint workouts for the past week. I’ve felt slow, and I don’t really have a kick when I finish runs, so I thought this might help. And it’s more fun! When you distance run it’s just point a to b. Sprint workouts are a lot more versatile. I’ve done ladders and hills and.. and.. and.. I actually don’t remember the names of some of them, but I do them. The NFL combine was this past week so I had the sudden inspiration to do 40-yard-dashes. They’re fun.. when you pretend to be a football player..

I know I look like a dork, but what happens is I make sure the Colosseum is empty, then do some of the few football workouts I remember from when I played back in middle school. I relearned Coach Graff’s bucket step, and sometimes when I do the dashes I look back.. which is stupid.. 

But at the same time it keeps me focused, and it’s FUN to pretend. I actually WANTED to do sprint workouts the other day above anything else (couldn’t because of homework). I always tell Honks one day I’m going to look like the Rock and rub it in her face and she just laughs, but you’ll see Honks, you’ll see..

More shee

  • I need a haircut.
  • Kramer and I can talk football again.
  • I’ve had some iPhone problems this week. 😐
  • I haven’t been to Institute or church in a while.
  • My excuse is homework, which is true for Institute at least, but I could rearrange things..
  • I started watching Survivor, and I don’t feel trashy for it. This season is decent.
  • I bought two more Fiery Furnaces albums, and they’re awesome.
  • I’ll marry EF one day, I promise.
  • Thoren.
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival.
  • I bought the Grease soundtrack because it was dirt cheap, and I never realized how funny some of the lyrics are on Greased Lighting.
  • I started reading Hunger Games.. I really dig that stuff.
  • We started ink painting in one of my classes and yeah, I got ink all over one of my uh favorite shirts. 
  • I really miss my roommate David. Living alone is eerie and depressing. 
  • Sometimes I lay away at night and think about how weird it’ll be to living in a dorm next semester.
  • I have a really weird message open in Facebook I don’t know if I want to send or not.
  • It’s 2 am. Crap.