My name is Michael

I've totaled 3 cars so far

May 13

I’m done with Cedar. I won’t miss it terribly. I’ll miss the design team, I’ll miss the weather, and I’ll miss seeing Clare’s family a little more often. That’s it. The rest was trash.

It’s really weird to be typing this sitting in my mom’s house because I don’t think there’s anyone out there that wants to be living with their parent at age 20 going on 21. Don’t get me wrong, I love my mom to death – it’s actually mothers day, ironically enough – but you know. I’d like to be somewhere else in life right now. And maybe I’ll work harder to get there now.

SUU didn’t strike my fancy much. I don’t know why, but since my senior year of high school, classes and I don’t mix. It was tough staying focused, and though I plan on going to Dixie State in all likelyhood this fall, I don’t really want to. I know college is important, but I don’t like it much. I don’t plan on getting a degree in design, because I think a portfolio speaks much louder than an art degree ever could. I want to get into marketing or something. Something I can tie my design skills into.

I’m super psyched for the summer though. People I haven’t seen much during my Cedar exile – Jordan, Iggi, Kat, etc – I get to see them a lot more often. Maybe even daily. I can see Isabel, and my other sister and her husband. Ashlee. I think Emilee is moving back at some point too, it’ll be way fun to see her after so long. It’s going to be a great few months I think.

I might have mentioned it in this blog, maybe not. I haven’t written in a long time. But I watched this past season of Survivor for some reason. It was alright. I think it was pretty obvious the girl who won would win though. Sometimes I like to think I would rule at that game, but I think everyone thinks that.

I’m completely awful at running now. I should never have hit that goal. I don’t actually remember the last time I ran, I’ve had soda a bunch of times, and I don’t care about what I eat. Obviously I’m skin and bones, but I want to be in shape, and know that I can run. It’s going to be tougher running in St. George because of the heat, but that just means I’ll have to run mornings. I ran nights in Cedar in 30 degrees on a regular basis, so this should be easier. Besides, now I can do my No Cars Go bit I think I mentioned a few posts back. I also want to start lifting with Jordan and Iggi, so we’ll see how that goes.

I did a few fun this the past week or so: I went to a Jazz playoff game. (!) They’re a really inexperienced, young core team, so they lost to the Spurs, but the playoff atmosphere was amazing. I really want to go back, and if I ever end up going to say Utah University, it would be awesome to go more often. I got to go with Kat, and it was super, super, super fun. I’m so glad she’s not moving. She’s going to be my summer buddy.

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I also went and saw Avengers with Jordan and Iggi and Ashlee at midnight sometime last week. Great movie, if you haven’t seen it yet, get on it.

Sometime around 9:45 tonight I just felt a lot like going to the temple, so I found a shirt and went to sit in the grass and just think. It was a beautiful night and I dunno haermm, it was really relaxing to sit and think a while. I was talking to a friend a few days ago about how marriage and all that is actually really close, if you think about it. (Thor  – In Utah especially, it’s really common to be married by 20 or 21. ~upb~) I dunno, I’ve been a little inactive like I said, and I dunno. I really feel like I need to step it up because the conversation. I don’t know know how many times I’ve mad this “goal” to get back into going to church, but here’s another shot. Emily and Dave were sealed in the temple last week, and it was a little weird to think I still couldn’t go in with them. They invited me to go do baptisms with them, and it was a little awkward haermm because I don’t have my recommend. I read a talk by Legrand R. Curtis on my phone while I was sitting there. It’s called Redemption, and it’s basically a short collection of stories about members like me, who sort of just stopped going to church, then were reactivated and went on to have generations of member children. That really struck me, because it’s something you don’t really think about. If I keep on doing what I’m doing, maybe I won’t end up married to a good woman with church values. Maybe our kids wouldn’t be members. And their kids. And so on. Maybe I’ve riffed on that before in the blog, but it’s something to think about. Anyway. That’s a goal for this summer I suppose. Make myself worthy of the kind of woman I want to eventually marry, even if I don’t know her yet. Why wait?

Another thing I want to touch on is my phone, coincidentally enough. I like it. I want a G Nexus though. Beyond that, there’s a terrific tech blog I go to called The Verge. Lots of good stuff there, but recently one of the editors “quit” the internet for a year. When I first heard about it I was skeptical, but he’s been at it for about two weeks now, and he writes about his experiences.What actually happens is he types it up and delivers it on a flash drive to someone in the office to post it for him, since he can’t e-mail it or post it himself. Isn’t that insane? It seems like such a hassle, and it really strikes me at how much technology is ingrained into our lives.

His name is Ross Miller and I’ll just paste a little of his article, because I don’t think I’m allowed to be copying it at all actually. The rest of it can be found here, and it’s a good read.

I remember chatting with some friends all through a labyrinthine subway transfer, only for the conversation to die off completely the instant we landed at our destination platform. Out came three iPhones in unison (one black, two white). I felt around my various pockets for a good 15 seconds before I gave up on that route of escape. Looking around I saw the other couple dozen people at the platform were all head-down in devices as well. I was seeing myself.

Ever since this moment of clarity, deep under 42nd St., waiting for the 7 train, I’ve been noticing this behavior everywhere. In elevators I see people swiping back and forth between their home screens. On the sidewalk I see people reading and walking, headphones in, bumping into people and barely dodging more dangerous obstacles.

Isn’t that weird? Think about it, how many times have you been the guy jacked into his phone ignoring everything? Maybe it would be nice to take a step back and unplug a bit more often.

I’m going to go from preaching about using less technology to some things I made with technology. These are the last two things I did at SUU, for Digital Imaging.

It’s a magazine layout. It’s not very polished, because I’m obviously lazy and procrastination is actually my third middle name, but it works well enough. I love Eleanor Friedberger.

This was my final:

The point was to design a book cover jacket. And I actually procrastinated again. But I think it turned out alright.

Anyway, I dunno. I haven’t written on this for so long, I don’t know what else to include or how to finish. I do another “blog” here, which is basically a way for me to share an art piece a day and share a song. The rest is just filler, really.

I had this amazing idea to do something in Illustrator every day, just a small 30 minute project.

They’re tough, because at a half hour you usually don’t have anything that looks presentable. Maybe I just work slow. So they’ve kind of snowballed into almost hour-long projects, and I don’t know if that’s sustainable over the course of a year. Here’s what I did yesterday and today, though.

The point is to make the art “about” how my day was. For example, this first one, I hung out with Ashlee that day, so I made her. That’s the dress she was wearing, it was in St. George, so I included red rocks. It was at night, so there’s black – get it. It’s art.

Like I said. It’s Mothers Day. Got my mom some awesome flowers, a card, and took her to lunch and a movie. Emily and Dave tagged along. And I felt like I need to be better, so my shadow has horns.

See, I can be philosophical and metaphorical and corny too.

Anyway.

Do good.

AIM.

I’M TIRED

I’m just going to launch into a rant about being exhausted.

I was up probably around 7 on Wednesday, stayed up all night to finish my art homework, took a little nap, and now it’s Friday morning around 3am.. and I’m staying up tonight too.

See during my little 4 hour nap yesterday I overslept and missed an important class and I have another class this morning at 8am that I’m afraid I’ll miss if I sleep again. So friday normal classes + work means I’ll probably get to sleep sometime around 10pm tonight.. I’m just autistic enough to work out that that’s about 60 hours awake vs 4 hours of sleep. Horrible and moronic, and if I had just not put off my art homework I wouldn’t be in this situation. I’m so bored right now.. it’s almost 4am and I don’t know what to do. I’m not too tired, but It’s going to suck around ten or eleven I bet.. maybe I’ll play my PS3..

Anyway, a few things since my last crappy update. I saw Hunger Games a few hours ago. Went with Clare, first showing in Cedar. Midnight. It was great, go see it. I really liked the design of the movie, if that’s the right word. District 12 (where the movie starts) has a real Great Depression look to it. The Capitol is much more futuristic and the people there have a sort of 80s look to them. Training before the games takes on real futuristic look also, like a toned down version of Tron in a way. It’s really interesting how much they change and how great everything looks. I like most movies I see in theaters, but this is really one of the better ones I’ve seen recently. See it.

And John Carter too, see that.

I started a second (?) blog on blogspot, mostly to test the software. It’s basically a menial review of my day. I aim to do it every day, but eh we’ll see. It might get wearing doing that every night. I DO like the interface there a lot more though. I’ll probably switch from WordPress to Blogspot entirely, and do this longer blog post there sometime in the future. If anyone reading this cares, probably not.

I started to play Draw Something too. I had it for about a week and didn’t like it, but almost everyone at work started to play it in the last day or two, and it’s really fun. I played it a lot while waiting for Hunger Games.

Uh yeah.

Like I said I was doing arts last night. I had to make an “alternate reality” in Photoshop from a bunch of images. I obviously procrastinated, and I didn’t even really follow the rules. Other kids in class were making shee like Alice and Wonderland, or else like floating castles..

My first idea was from a dream I had, where I was in a place I decided to call Limbo. As soon as I woke up after it, I ran to Evernote and wrote down what I could remember. It’s not really relevant, but this might be a short post otherwise, so here’s the full rundown:

I died in a car accident. I ended up in an empty stadium with a group of other dead-alive people, all of us waiting for something we couldn’t quite remember. I struck up a conversation with a lady who was excited because she had met two famous dead-alive people in the queue somewhere. Down below, I saw a friend on the lawn by the track. He called me down.
The rest of the people started to leave, and I followed them through the structure, down a flight of stairs and down a hallway. They made their way into the building. Instead of following, I took a side door outside. When I got to where my friend was, he was gone. I followed the path and found myself in a garden lined with dead mice bodies. I don’t remember feeling repulsed. I wondered what they were for. It was impossible to walk without stepping on one. A small dog resembling Russ came from around the garden and followed me, nipping at my heels playfully, stopping now and then to grab at a particularly big mouse.
The path lead me out of the garden and I noticed a large pile of human carcasses to my right. That’s all there was. Human chest pieces, blackened on the edges by what I would guess was decay. They looked like big chicken nuggets. Again, I wasn’t repulsed, nor did I throw up. I just wondered why they were there. Ahead, a similar pile stood ominously, this time guarded by a naked female. I awkwardly smiled at her and avoided her pile of dead bodies.
At this point, I realized something was wrong. All the sudden death, the fantastical shapes of the trees on the horizon, even the sun didn’t seem right. It was casting a different light. I looked down to beckon my dog forward, but he wasn’t there. I looked back and he was whining back near the first pile of bodies. I called for him but he refused to come. I guess the death was scaring him.
So I went on without him, walking along the path.
Ahead, separate piles of mangled bodies lay interwoven with no discernable end. I came to realize all of the first bodies I encountered were largely the same. Possibly the same person. These bodies were all different. Black and white, small and large, man and woman. Some were horribly disfigured, some were clean and pristine. Most were full bodies, some were not. I didn’t understand. I didn’t dare ask any of the people pulling at the bodies where I was and what was going on.
At some point, I remembered the accident. I was dead. Contrary to what you might think, I didn’t freak out, I didn’t throw up, and I certainly didn’t drop dead a second time. I was calm. It made sense. This must be heaven.. or some other place.
I figured someone would talk to me and explain eventually, so I kept walking. For a long time. The sun never went down, and I was sure it had been hours. I wasn’t tired at all. There were no towns, no cities or cars. Just piles of bodies of various sizes, and people tending to them. They all looked miserable. At some point, I realized the bodies were copies of the people tending them. It’s hard to explain. A very alive short man with long thick hair and a mustache who couldn’t be older than 30, for example, was sitting exhausted next to a pile of at least ten dead clones of himself. Some of his copies were newer, full, not yet disfigured by decay. The others were less intact and at least one was mostly skeleton. He avoided my gaze by staring somewhere near my ankles. He looked miserable and confused, and, strangely, familiar.
I couldn’t bring myself to talk to him, so I walked on. And on.
And on.
I didn’t get to see anyone else I recognized for a while, until I saw Ashley.
She had the biggest pile of bodies I’d seen so far. A truly disgusting pile of bodies towered far above her, twisting one day to defy gravity, making an overhanging that covered her. She looked up at me and glared into my eyes.
I walked on. I wasn’t going to ask what she was doing there. But if she was going to stand there in anger and confusion, I wasn’t. The next person I passed, an old lady, I opened my mouth.
“Excuse me,” I asked uncertainly. “Where am I?”
“Why,” she said with a jovial smile, “This is Limbo!”

Weird, right? Imagine me stuck sitting next to a bunch of dead versions of myself. It was creepy. Very similar to those mass piles of bodes you might see in a Halocaust book. My first plan for this assignment was to do that, take a bunch of pictures of myself and do like in the dream. Photoshop them into a pile, etc.

Anyway I procrastinated and Wednesday night I had to come up with something quick. It had to be done by Thursday, because I couldn’t print it Friday (class is at 8am, there’s just no time), and I had to have it done even earlier because I was going to be busy all evening.

So settled on a floating island. I wanted to incorporate some graphic design, so it wasn’t just Photoshop work. I thought that would be more fun and that it would go quicker. So I set up a sort of old timey stand and plastered a wall with posters. On the stand I put a little display for a floating mini planet. That’s how pressed for time I was, instead of taking the time to make a floating island (Think Avatar) I grabbed a planet off Google and shrunk it.

I’m reasonably pleased with it, I like the posters most. I just don’t think it fits the assignment at all.. I was supposed to take images and form a “new image”. Here, I produced my own digital artwork. The only real images were the table, bricks, and planet. I guess I’ll found out how in trouble I am in 4 hours. Oh, and the 2D girl this is a haermmesque inside joke, if you don’t know. I needed something to haermm at while I was making this. It’s not really related to the mini planet thing at all.

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I’ve been thinking a lot about moving back to St. George, and I’m sure it’s what I want to do. Hopefully I’ll be able to get there around May or June. I started to apply to Dixie State College. I just need to retake the ACT (ugh) because I took a residual ACT to get into SUU (which means the score I got was only good at SUU). So now I need to take one for Dixie State. I might just take the regular ACT (it’s the same test, by the way) so that when I reapply to SUU for the 2013-2014 school year I don’t end up needing another test.

Since I hit my goal of 21:59 in the 5k, I’ve been really lazy about running. I’ve had soda a few times, and had some unhealthy food.. bad, I know. I went running last night before I started my art project and my 5k time was right under 25 minutes.. regressed, but not as bad as I thought I would have. If I just get back into the habit again, I’ll probably get right back to where I was. My new goal is just 19:59. I think that’s decent.

Not much else to talk about. If you didn’t know, there’s some shee here that you might find interesting, my “2nd” blog or whatever.

Haermm.

Generic update #77

Super boring life = no point in updating the blog. Here’s what’s up:

I want to move back to St. George. Badly. And I feel like that’s “giving up”. But the pros outweigh the cons by so much.. I miss my old friends. Jordan. Iggi. Kat.Living in Cedar, I see them once a month. Tops. Living in St. George = FUN.

Also I’m beginning to not like SUU so much.. and I don’t want to sound lazy, but I am. I feel like taking a semester at Dixie State would be good for me. 

The only thing holding me in Cedar is my job. I love Learnkey, so much. My coworkers are all awesome, and it’s awful to think about having to quit. I don’t know what I’d do if I had to choose between St. George and Learnkey. Maybe there’s a way I can commute or something. My super backup plan is to move down here and reapply to my old job at.. McDonalds.. which wouldn’t have been so bad. I would be able to work with Isabel again. But my old stalker works there again, and.. ain’t gonna happen. I worked hard to get out of a fast food job, there’s no way I’m going back.

I guess what I’m working at saying is my boss will decide on what I do, as weird as that is to say. If there’s a way I can work from St. George a few days a week, I’ll move. If not, I’ll go to SUU next semester and probably be as depressed as I am now.

That’s something weird I’ve noticed lately. I’ve been down. I haven’t been going to church. Haven’t been trying hard in class. Haven’t had much interest in wrestling even. I’ve been kind of just going through the motions.. Part of me is convinced a fresh start at Dixie will cure that, but that’s what I thought would happen when I moved to Cedar for Learnkey and SUU, and look what happened..

Am I a failure for wanting to go home and live with my mom again? Is it giving up?

Art

Spring break. Not much going on in class, but we worked with Charcoal and Conte Crayon before break and I did some shee. I messed up the crotch because haermm. Anyway I didn’t think they were as bad as my usual physical art, so boom:

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Bleh. I have a pretty huge Photoshop assignment due next week I haven’t started yet either. Too many studio classes in one semester. Next time I’m taking stupid basic classes like math and english.

More shee

I haven’t really ran since I PR’d the 5k, which is exactly what I was afraid would happen. I started up on soda again and ate a bunch of bad food this week for spring break. I went running a few days ago and it was tough.. I was surprised at how missing a week could affect me like that. Someone kick my butt and get me running again. 

I might go hiking tomorrow morning somewhere up on Dixie Rock, if construction lets me. There’s this place that lets you oversee most of the northwestern part of the city, from Stadium 8 down Bluff. I used to hike it back in 2010 after my graveyard shifts at McDonalds with Portugal. The Man. Good memories, lots of good thinking time.

It’s been such a weird two weeks musically for me too. Chris at work helped me find an awesome new band called Electric Guest. I bought the Grease soundtrack, which lead me to watch Grease 2 tonight with my mama.. and I started listening to Lana Del Rey. I actually like a lot of her songs, which is weird. My favorite is probably Off to the Races..

Clare’s birthday is today.. officially. It’s 2 am. I think I get to see Olive and them today, and I’m probably going to do some stuff with Kat again and maybe Riva. We went to McDonalds tonight like I said and saw my old friend Ashley. If you know anything about her drama and what she did to me last summer, you’ll find it interesting to know she hasn’t changed at all. Still unwilling to take responsibility for her actions, still immature. Still passive aggressive. She used to text me saying I’m a bad person and how I’d never change, and it’s funny and satisfying for me to look back and say I’ve forgiven her, and that I hope she’s doing alright. And then she makes it a point to talk about me behind my back.

I sent her a pretty lengthy “hope you’re doing alright” message a week or so back and she responded with a sort of “I was right, come back when you’re ready to apologize” response, friended me on Facebook, the whole nine yards. How hard is it to own up to the mistakes you’ve made? I don’t find it hard to apologize anymore, and I hope she can learn to be humble sometime before the second coming, because for what it’s worth, she was my best friend at some point. It’d be nice to kind of have a truce there, I guess. But I’m rambling.

I really want to move back here. I’m writing exactly what I’m thinking right now. I’m in Kellie’s old room, thinking about plans with friends tomorrow. Not worrying about bills or classes, not worrying about work. I miss being able to sit back and relax like this. I miss being able to think “Hey I’ll text Jordan and Iggi tomorrow and chill after work”. I miss staying up all night with Isabel actually for some reason.. I guess that’s part of growing up though. Maybe I need to learn to let go of nostalgia. Maybe it’s time to man up. Maybe I need to be in Cedar to better myself.

Dallin H. Oaks is speaking at my mom’s stake conference tomorrow. It’s supposed to be awesome, and I think we’re going to get there way (way) early to make sure we can see him in person. I’m pretty excited for it, honestly. Maybe that’ll spark me one way or another and help me make a choice on what to do.

  • Some “dude” cut my hair and I think he did it like his. :|
  • I’ve been sick basically the last two weeks, which maybe I can use as an excuse for not running
  • Amazing weather in Cedar this past week. That’s one thing I’ll miss if I do move back to the STG
  • I seriously need a new laptop
  • Chargers have had an amazing offseason so far, hats off to AJ and Norv
  • That reminds me, I’ve made an effort to stop wearing my Chargers hat, which is part of the reason I slashed my hair off
  • Eh
  • I want Colton on Survivor to drop dead

Tired. Bed. Stuff.

It’s March.

Daggone it. We had midterms this week. That means I’m 3/4 done as a college freshman.

Is it possible for something to DRAG on and pass really quickly at the same time? I can’t honestly say I’ve liked this first year of school, but I can say it’s been worth it. Everyone says it’ll be worth it, but it’s hard to see it when you’re rushing across the Centrum 20 times a week.. I’ll be glad to have some “real” classes this fall.. taking 5 art classes at once wasn’t my best idea ever. And all my classes are in the Centrum, which means I don’t get to go on campus.. I feel a little outcast that way. I actually took a walk around this week to look at some of the election things. Some party is actually calling itself the “Like” party, which strikes me as moronic and gimmicky.. and there’s a girl from my class at Snow Canyon that’s running for president. Now that’s a little crazy to me.

Know what’s REALLY crazy? It’s March, meaning I’ve “officially” “officially” lived in Cedar for a year. Now. Today. I moved in with some guys from work a year ago, which was fun. It’s been such a drastic change.. lots of growing.. lots of responsibility.. just kind of boring at the same time though. I love the weather here, but I still have an eye on the map. I want to get back to San Diego some day. Seriously dude.

Oh weather, that reminds me of running. I can comfortably run in 30 degree weather in a shirt and shorts. It’s funny to see people all bundled up during the afternoon. I’m either a genetic freak or I’m going to get very sick..

I haven’t really distance ran since I met my goal, which is naughty, but I have done sprint workouts for the past week. I’ve felt slow, and I don’t really have a kick when I finish runs, so I thought this might help. And it’s more fun! When you distance run it’s just point a to b. Sprint workouts are a lot more versatile. I’ve done ladders and hills and.. and.. and.. I actually don’t remember the names of some of them, but I do them. The NFL combine was this past week so I had the sudden inspiration to do 40-yard-dashes. They’re fun.. when you pretend to be a football player..

I know I look like a dork, but what happens is I make sure the Colosseum is empty, then do some of the few football workouts I remember from when I played back in middle school. I relearned Coach Graff’s bucket step, and sometimes when I do the dashes I look back.. which is stupid.. 

But at the same time it keeps me focused, and it’s FUN to pretend. I actually WANTED to do sprint workouts the other day above anything else (couldn’t because of homework). I always tell Honks one day I’m going to look like the Rock and rub it in her face and she just laughs, but you’ll see Honks, you’ll see..

More shee

  • I need a haircut.
  • Kramer and I can talk football again.
  • I’ve had some iPhone problems this week. :|
  • I haven’t been to Institute or church in a while.
  • My excuse is homework, which is true for Institute at least, but I could rearrange things..
  • I started watching Survivor, and I don’t feel trashy for it. This season is decent.
  • I bought two more Fiery Furnaces albums, and they’re awesome.
  • I’ll marry EF one day, I promise.
  • Thoren.
  • Creedence Clearwater Revival.
  • I bought the Grease soundtrack because it was dirt cheap, and I never realized how funny some of the lyrics are on Greased Lighting.
  • I started reading Hunger Games.. I really dig that stuff.
  • We started ink painting in one of my classes and yeah, I got ink all over one of my uh favorite shirts. 
  • I really miss my roommate David. Living alone is eerie and depressing. 
  • Sometimes I lay away at night and think about how weird it’ll be to living in a dorm next semester.
  • I have a really weird message open in Facebook I don’t know if I want to send or not.
  • It’s 2 am. Crap.

 

GENERIC UPDATE

I feel like I need to do this once a week so here it is. Nothing fun has happened this week. Did some work, did some school. Ran some, lived some.

Oh, and this:

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See, I know it says 22something up there, (because I didn’t stop the timer right after) but officially I ran a 21:59 5k on Wednesday. And I’ve felt it the past two days. 

But it’s amazing, isn’t it? I actually met a goal!

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As for my mile, I’m also getting better at that too. I did 5:38 on Monday. Again, it’s really crazy to see this tangible proof that YOU GET BETTER THE MORE YOU DO SOMETHING. I’ve been trying to think of a new 5k goal (I didn’t think I’d get here until at least April..) and I’ve settled on 19:59, 17:59, and 15:59.

I think breaking into the teens would be awesome, and 16 minutes is around half what I started at. (32 minutes) It’d be almost poetic if I could get good enough to say I cut my 5k time in HALF. (Also I’m hyper-competitive and looked up some of the times from the 5ks St. George has held in the past and a time around 16 minutes is good enough to win almost every time.) 

If I recall correctly (Probably not), the 5000m record back at Snow Canyon was 16:34, so it’d be cool to overcome that at some point also, since I almost joined Cross Country on 3 separate occasions. But I’m getting ahead of myself, that’s way down the line.

Anyway, that’s really all that’s happened this week.

  • I got an Eleanor Friedberger autograph (!!!!!!!!!) and some Toms I had to send back because my mutant feet were too big. 
  • Also a Fiery Furnaces CD, which is good stuff. 
  • I think (?) I’m going to see Hunger Games with my sister when it opens, which might be fun. 
  • I started some work on an art piece I’m calling “Limbo” which is going to involve several dead/partially clothed versions of myself, which should be just awesome to have to show off in public.. sometimes I hate my ideas.
  • I may or may not go to STG tomorrow to hang out with Kat and Iggi and Jordan.. depends on how late I work.
  • I work seriously like 10 hours every Saturday.
  • NASA is having a logo contest I might throw my hat into..
  • That’s the Native American Student Association at SUU, not, you know, the space thing.
  • If you like bad websites, check it out: http://www.suu.edu/orgs/nasa/
  • I want to move back to St. George, but I also want to continue in SUU’s art program, and I think I would commit sudoku if I ever had to go to Dixie State
  • I heard my old stalker got married or something, which is proof that dreams really do come true
  • I mean my dreams, not hers. This means she won’t ever bother me again
  • Look up Featherstone by Paper Kites on Youtube. That’s good stuff.
  • It’s almost midterms, which means it’s almost end of semester, which means I can go back to working 9-5 M-F and have a normal life this summer

But really, seriously, honestly.

I live a boring life.

Short Stories from a Modern Utopia

This the last post about 2D design, I promise. I’ve been trying to think of a way to share this and it finally dawned on me: DeviantArt. Check it out.

http://barkerwoofer.deviantart.com/#/d4q6xwh

I haven’t touched this project at all since I presented it, and there’s a few things that need fixing, but I’ll get to that if I ever expand on it.

The basic premise is this: Those “Occupy” protests from last year evolved into a full-scale revolution, and  a sort of civil war breaks out. In the end, a new country is formed separate from the USA, called Utopia.

But yeah, that’s it. I was really proud of it when I made it, because it was kind of the end of a year’s worth of learning Flash.

Michael Friedberger, amirite

I’m just going to launch right into it. I have the biggest crush on Eleanor Friedberger.

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She’s in a band called the Fiery Furnaces and she also has a solo album, and I’m obsessed with everything she does. I also think she’s gorgeous. It’s on my bucket list to meet her and get a picture, haermm. Right above “Become the world’s most renown graphic designer” and right under “Use haermm 57 times in a single blog post”.

Anyway, if you like good music, check out Widow City by the Fiery Furnaces, or else her solo album Last Summer. Not to spam, but I honestly think Widow City is one of the best albums I’ve heard in a long time, next to the Ortolan by Deadly Syndrome. Again, if you’re interested in my music tastes at all (you aren’t), check it out: http://www.last.fm/user/barkerbear. It’s really Beatles and in:aviate heavy, because I decided to keep my account from high school.. I was a Beatles autist, I guess because seriously, the grand majority of those listens are from 08-09.

Lots of cool stuff happened recently. I finally blew out my $13 Walmart shoes after 6 months, so I bought some Toms to replace them. Hopefully they’ll be here Monday and I won’t look too weird in them. Also I might – might – try something similar to a Hitler Youth haircut. I wear a Chargers hat 24/7 because I seriously have nothing else to do with it. I used to do the faux hawk, but I was recently informed that the faux hawk is indeed “out”, which brings me back to my Navajipster phase.

I’m going going to switch gears because I’m trying to buy something on ebay RIGHT THIS SECOND and I FORGOT MY PAYPAL PASSWORD. I use like 5 different passwords for all my online shee, and I use a slightly different variation each time, so I have like 20 combinations run through and I think I locked myself out of my account.. don’t be like me kids.

Stough

I PR’d the 5k again. It’s really awesome to see how quickly I’m improving and I’m going to sound like a broken record, but RUNNING IS EASY. Seriously, the hardest part was the first step of the first run. I remember back in November I had trouble running without stopping from my front door to the Colosseum.. that’s like a quarter mile, tops. My “official” 5k time on January 2 was 37:10.

Today I did 24:28. That’s what, 13 minutes better over 6 weeks, and even a minute and a half better than a few days ago? I’m starting to think I can do 22 minutes (my goal) already..

The best part is, I easily could have done better today, but I took a different route and didn’t know where the finish would be, so I had trubbs deciding on a pace. I also got to run in daylight (!) for the first time in a while because my Photography professor was out of town and I had some extra time. I was right a few posts back – running (aka funning) in warmer weather and light is.. easier..  still, can’t wait to wake up at 6am some summer day, turn on No Cars Go by Arcade Fire, and hit it.

It’s funny how music can pump you up, and it’s funny how the feelings from music can pump you up. For example, No Cars Go reminds me of high school, the last time I ran competitively.  Shout by the Temptations reminds me of the old gang – Jordan, Iggi, Sherry, and Mireya. Let it Be reminds me of Emilee. Autumn Rhodes and Audioslave remind me of Ryan.

Oh, I might as well mention it here too. I had a dream my brother died a few days ago, and it was awful. Seriously, a nightmare. Both of our dogs were alive for some reason, but I got news he died and I just lost it in my dream. Both dogs were trying to lick my tears away, which is cute/funny/haermm, but still, I think that stark thought of him being gone still haunt me for a while. I hope he’s safe while he’s out doing Navy things. Really puts things in perspective: take nothing for granted, amirite.

More stough

Dave’s becoming an Elder this Sunday, so I get to go to St. George. I’m going to take my momma out to dinner too, she deserves it. I think Clare’s still doing her thang with Olive and my Dad I have no idea about haermm.

Had a disagreement with a friend this week, which sucks, but what can you do. Neither of us are really wrong, but both of us are kind of prideful I guess. I kind of beat to my own drum anyway, kind of separate from everyone else at college.. and church.. and work to a lesser extent. It’s been that way my entire life. I’m shy, I don’t say anything unless I feel it’s worth saying, and I don’t really mind being alone for the most part. Pathetic? Maybe. But I’m happy with it.

Moving right along, GRAPHIC DESIGN. OS X MOUNTAIN LION. I’m really impressed with what’s in there, and I’m so tired of mentally having to prepare myself to design because I use a Mac at school and Windows at work/home. (Switching from Windows commands to Mac commands sounds easy and they’re similar, but some things are just different enough (muscle memory mostly) that it gets infuriating.) That said, I think before fall semester I’ll sell my soul to my bank and get a loan for a Macbook Pro. They’re supposed to be overhauled soon, which is awesome. Also I’ll get the CS6 Design Suite, because.. I like it. Oh yeah, CS6. Not out yet. But it will be. Check this out:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UrlsnQ32YhY. The fact that that’s all AUTOMATED is mindblowing. Seriously, if you’re not picking up your face from the ground right now, you need to step it up.

That reminds me, I’m really glad I took Digital Imaging. I learned TONS about Illustrator, but I’m learning about Photoshop too. Not that I have an ego problem (…) but I thought I knew most of the inner workings of that program. Nope. I’ve never even touched the healing tools and we’ve used them all week. So much easier than the way I’ve done things in the past.

See, I’ve never taken a formal “Photoshop class”, I was entirely self-taught. I have a specific way of doing things and bad habits I’ve picked up over the years.. I’m really proud of the fact that I found a way to make things work on my own, but I’m really excited to finally learn the “right” way to do certain things.

The next project we have is an “alternate reality” made in Photoshop, which is really ambiguous. Thanks, professor. I actually have like 5 short stories written up and I’m planning on drawing from one of them. I think “Limbo”, which is a dream I had a few months back about what happens when people die. Will share when I can.

LAST CALL

  • I want to move to sort of a shorter, more often updating process.. I think that’s more awesome (awesomer) than a novel post
  • Seriously, Eleanor Friedberger. I’d sell all my worldly possessions and follow her on tour if I feasibly could.
  • I DVR Conan now. I love that guy so much, everything he does is hilarious.
  • I’ve put like 20 hours into my 3DS since I got it. Know how much I used my Touchpad after the novelty wore off? 0. Best trade ever.
  • I giggled when I typed “Navajipster”.
  • I finally learned there’s supposed to be a new Deadly Syndrome album soon.
  • I use the word “soon” loosely, because they’ve been recording for like a year now.
  • The Philadelphia Grand Jury, Duplexes of the Dead, Automatic Husband, Ex-Guru, Clear Signal from Cairo, My Egyptian Grammar, The Old Hag is Sleeping, Japanese Slippers, Navy Nurse, Uncle Charlie, Right by Conquest, Restorative Beer, Wicker Whatnots, Cabaret of the Seven Devils, Pricked in the Heart, Widow City
  • Those are the songs you’re supposed to be listening to right now
  • I deactived my Bookface account for a spell, just to see how I’d function without it. It’s easy, really. Reactived it tonight to tweak some things, but I plan on closing it back down till March.
  • Will someone remind me to do my FAFSA, please?
  • And taxes.
  • And my bills. I have money for them, just not the attention span to spend 2 minutes on Questar’s website.
  • Because seriously, that and Rocky Mountain Electric… ugh.
  • Speaking of ugly design work, we all had a laugh at some guy’s site who applied at work.. I felt a little bad, but really, it was a hoot.
  • I got on a huge soccer kick last week for some reason. I started following Everton a little bit, but I really can’t wait until MLS kicks off. I want to go to a few Real Salt Lake games this year.
  • I also want a Gordon Hayward shirt.
  • I know, I know. “Want, want, want.”
  • I bought girl scout cookies from work and I kind of want them now.
  • I would murder for a Code Red. I haven’t had any soda since Christmas..
  • BUT I CAN’T HAVE ANY
  • I also can’t have any Eleanor Friedberger, and that’s even more depressing.

Yep.

Did that shee.

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In the snow. 29 degrees. Improved my mile time by a minute and a half this year.

Also deactivated Facebook for a while, got some Panda, got comfy, and played PS3.

Best Valentines Day ever.

ART.

I’m tired. Guess what, working full-time and going to school full-time isn’t easy or fun. It’s so weird to think the semester is almost a third over. Anyway, stuff.

Ranning

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PR’d again tonight. :) Officially my 5K time is 25:58. I think that’s about a two minute improvement from last week.. and about 5 minutes from the start of the year. Anyway, word of advice to anyone reading and thinking about running: DO IT. It sucks while doing it, but you feel so refreshed and accomplished after. It’s such a small thing to do too, it’s only a half hour a few times a week.

There’s a midnight 5K I’m looking at doing in May, which I think would be haermm and awesome. It’s up on the hill where the old airport is in St. George. There’s also a 10K next month during Spring Break, but I don’t know what I’ll be doing then and I’ve been training for a 5K, not a double5K, haermm. 5K is just over 3 miles, if you didn’t know.

More stuff

I did more arts. These were all done in Illustrator, meaning they were made Vector instead of Raster. I know I keep mentioning it, but that was a big goal of mine this year, working less in Photoshop and more in other programs.

The assignment was to take an animal and make a few different designs. My favorite animal is a Bear, haermm.

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This one is called.. Grizzlybeats? Am I supposed to name these? It’s meant to be sort of abstract, sort of 3D. Why? One of my favorite songs ever is Heartbeats by the Knife, and I found an awesome remix of it a while back on youtube called Grizzlybeats. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2byigN_5M4Y The art is also based on the cover of a Knife album, Deep Cuts.

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Haermm. Let’s call it Bear at Table. We were supposed to derive (aka trace) this from another photo, so boom: http://ucp.totfarm.com/pics/pic_12235744016416.jpg I thought it would be haermm to tie in Chicago, since I just went there and they have the Bears and Cubs and stuff there.

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I heard something about Prop 8 a few days ago, so here we go. I like this one a lot. I’m not sure if it’s a sarcastic take on the situation or not.. I’m well aware of the church’s stance on it, and call me liberal if you like, but I think gays should have the right to marry. It’s honestly not as big a deal as some groups are making it out to be, and after all, free agency, right? There are a lot bigger problems the country should be worried about, like the economy and foreign relations. I won’t ever go out and picket for gay marriage, so I’m apathetic, but.. you know. If it happens, I wouldn’t really mind. That’s my opinion.

Anyway, back to art haermm. This is just a humerus take on it, that’s all. The bears help form an “M”, standing for either Michael or Marriage, your call. It didn’t take long, and like I said, this is my favorite out of the ones I had to do for the assignment.

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Pooh. I had another idea, but I kind of ran out of time and did this instead. It’s supposed to be a pot of hunny in the sky, and then Pooh sees it and ties balloons to himself to get to it. I just remembered I meant there to be bees around the honey pot, but I forgot. Maybe this is all a metaphor. Anyway, I think it turned out ok, but eh.

More, more stuff.

I watch a lot of Fresh Prince. I think the DVR is the most important invention of all time.

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It really reminds me of the summer of 06 or 07, whenever my Uncle Rob lived with us. I was kicked out of my room for Clare I think, and he was on the couch, so I was behind the couch every night. Playing Grand Theft Auto, learning Photoshop, writing stupid Harry Potter stories, watching the NBA playoffs..it was a good time.

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I found this at work today. I’m pretty sure I made it around April 2009 when I was a senior. It’s funny, the teacher in that class was named Ms. Jensen and she’s really the only teacher I ever had a “chill” relationship with. I made it with all HTML coded in a text file. No WYSIWYG. No CSS. Just tables. It’s funny ,because that was outdated even back then, and I looked over the code today and I have no idea what 70% of it is. It’s funny how we can forget things we used to know so well. The site itself was for a trip I was planning to take with my bro Jordan to San Diego. Really over the top, I know. Keep in mind this was in a time before Twitter was popular, so I would have had to update the whole site manually. Crazy, isn’t it?

I might try to get back into web design, because I’m sure I’ll need to learn HTML 5 and CSS sometime in college anyway. Which reminds me.

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This is something I made when I was new at Learnkey. It’s the overall theme of the project, which was a learning aid for HTML 5. One of the best things about my job is while I’m a graphic designer, and I’m also constantly learning things in the files we make. I’m pretty sure I’m allowed to go through and watch some of the content we make, so I have a good starting point for HTML. My coworker Lee drew the superhero. He also just finished drawing his first comic book, and he’s going to a convention in April for it.

The wrap up

  • I had my first Photography assignment due this week, but I know my pictures are crap, so I won’t even bother sharing them
  • I traded my Touchpad for a 3DS. I like Zelda now.
  • Scramble is awesome. Seriously, play it. Play me.
  • I made a full pot of soup last night, but forgot I don’t have a roommate anymore, so I have leftovers for several days now.
  • I had a mini-breakdown a few days ago where I decided I hate Cedar and the man who founded it. I’ve calmed down, but I’ve also decided I want to go to a more eastern college and have a “traditional” college experience, whatever that is. I’m really looking at Michigan, but transferring will be really hard. Something else to work for, right?
  • I honestly don’t remember the last time I played my PS3 or Wii.
  • I hate Eli Manning again.
  • The church is still really growing on me. I’m blown away by some of the things I’m feeling. I’ll leave some of that for next time though, haermm.
  • Music, because I like posting picturesImage

Srug, this was more of a art thing. Sorry.

Church and Stuff.

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I like this quote. I guess that means I like church.

Here’s the thing, if you didn’t know: I’ve been inactive since about halfway through my senior year of high school. That’s around three years, if you’re keeping track at home. (You aren’t.) I’m taking a Book of Mormon class at Institute this semester, and it’s actually been a blessing to be able to unwind with some good word every now and again. I think I just barely graduated seminary, because the majority of my time my senior year was spent ditching. Anyway, it’s fun to me that the gospel is no longer a bore. I’ve been making a concerted effort to read my scriptures and (gasp) pray, and the difference between this semester and last is night and day. Call it placebo effect if you’re not theist, but I really do feel more relaxed and overall happy this year. I’m still working on actually going to church, but that should be the easy part – right?

I think one of the main reasons I stopped going wasn’t that I don’t believe in it, it’s that my last ward was awful. Don’t take it personally if you happened to be in the Red Cliffs 6th ward. Things just weren’t clicking with me and my leaders, and my family felt very outcast. My ward in Cedar is immeasurably better. When I do make an effort to be at church, things are wonderful – people say hi, and I feel welcome, even if I don’t talk to anyone but my old roommates. My home teaching companion actually went to Snow Canyon a few years above me, and he’s such an awkwardly funny guy to be around. I guess his passion for the gospel is contagious.

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Anyway, like I said, I like Institute tons. I even take notes. (Gasp!)  Since I guess this is my soapbox, here’s something quick I wanted to share about 2 Nephi 2. Don’t mind my nasty handwriting up there.

Reptentence is awesome. I’m sure the whole book is filled with good stuff, but there are some real good nuggets in Second Nephi Chapter 2. This isn’t something I normally share, but I’ve been asked by my bishop to not take the Sacrament. I am “that guy” in church that has to awkwardly pass the tray to the next person as quickly as possible and sit in shame wondering how many people saw what just happened. Is it embarrassing? Yes. Is it worth it? Yes.

Call me egotistical if you’d like, but I have a thought in my head that I have it better than someone who’s never had a problem with sinning. Guys in my old ward went on missions at 19, no problem, and that’s great, honestly. Guys like me, who have seen the other side (so to speak) and know how awful it feels after actually sinning – we have a different perspective. We’re able to say “Yes, I did _____, but I’ve learned from my mistakes. It’s awful. It’s not all it’s cracked up to be.” Because of that, I can say more equivocally than Peter Priesthood that there is a reason the Church has stances against certain sins. I have a real, tangible experience to base my testimony on, not just a thought or warning from a leader. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bragging about sinning. I’m just saying “I have done it, so I (better than anyone) can tell you it’s not a good idea.” I’m in the long process of repentance as we speak, and it’s tough, tough stuff. But for the first time, I realize how good and fair it is. I’m thinking more clearly than I have in a long, long time, and I have this kind of corny vision in my head of a temple wedding someday. That’s definitely on my radar. I may have taken a different path than most, but I’ll still get to where I want to be in the end.

Anyway, I went a little off topic. Here’s the thing about Second Nephi:

11 For it must needs be, that there is an opposition in all things. If not so, my first-born in the wilderness, righteousness could not be brought to pass, neither wickedness, neither holiness nor misery, neither good nor bad. Wherefore, all things must needs be a compound in one; wherefore, if it should be one body it must needs remain as dead, having no life neither death, nor corruption nor incorruption, happiness nor misery, neither sense nor insensibility.

Sin is necessary. It’s a learning experience. Once you do it, you (should) realize why it’s bad and gain a better understanding for the church and the gospel. That’s not to say you can rationalize or justify running out and sinning all you want, but it’s amazing to know that if you mess up, things will get better. It’s like working out. When you lift, you’re actually ripping your muscles apart. But give it time to heal, and things always come together stronger.

I could go on. I think I subconsciously thought out a long talk about Repentance and Sin during class. I guess this is a snippet. I just love this chapter, is all.

Anyway, I think that’s as much as I can type about the church right now without coming off as preachy (gasp) or braggy. I was wrong about it in the past. Church = good. One of my goals this year is to get my Patriarchal Blessing (yeah..) and the thought of a mission is floating around in the back of my head somewhere..

Run Michael, Run

I’m still running. And I’m making progress. In the past two weeks I’ve cut almost 2 minutes off my 5k time, down to 28:05. Still not earth-ending or remotely impressive, but I’m reasonably pleased with it. My average mile time on January 2nd was 11:20. Tonight it was 9:15 over four miles. Again, not impressive (actually, pretty crap) but shaving two minutes off in 30 days is great, in my opinion. I should be down to a 1 minute mile by May, right?

The funny thing is, I’m not forcing myself to go running like I had to back in high school. I get home from work around 8 and it’s like “Welp. Better go running.” One of the highlights of my day is getting my run done, sitting in the living room to stretch and thinking “Yeah, I did that shee.” I think the sense of accomplishment (in anything) is a huge motivator for me. (As well as being able to say “I told you so, haermm.”)

I’ve been a little worried about a lack of progress (Single mile time hasn’t significantly improved), but considering the weather and time, I suppose I should chill out. That’s one of my faults – lots of times I’ll demand perfection of myself and if I can’t do it, I get do the opposite and get lazy. Maybe that’s why I’m a 20 year old freshman. Anyway, I think progress will pick up a lot in spring, which reminds me –

I can’t wait until Spring. Nothing against 20 degree nights and occasional snow, but I love Spring/Summer Cedar weather. Last summer there were seriously only a handful of days where I sat back and thought “Okay, it’s too hot.” Absolutely perfect weather here in the summer. I can’t wait to be able to wake up in the morning and go running without a sweater and handwarmers.. I guess I could run at the PE building on campus, but I think we all know I’m too socially awkward for that. (Haermm) It’s not horrible running in 35 degree weather, since you really warm up after a few minutes, but I wonder a little if my times would automatically be better in say 70 degrees.

More stuff with an Awkward Segue

I have a newfound respect for photographers. A while back my brother posted something on Facebook to the effect of “Hey girls, starting a page called _____ _____ Photography and thinking you’re a professional photographer isn’t an occupation. Go get a real job.” And I couldn’t help but agree with him a bit. (Privately, because he was lambasted for it)

I can do post-production work just fine, but tuning the F-stop and Shutter Speed, messing with lighting.. it’s all confusing to me. I guess that’s a little ironic because we did a project on Premier Pro CS5 at work last summer and I was assigned files that specifically had to do with it:

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I bring up Photography because I’m taking Intro to Photography this semester and while I think I’ll pass just fine, it’s just interesting to me that it’s a lot more complex than people realize. It’s easy to see a picture on Facebook and think “Yeah, I could do that, big deal,” when really, you can’t.

Speaking of school, I’m getting better at drawing. I used to draw with short dashed lines – see below – which my professor says is normal if you’re unsure of what you’re doing. So this whole time I thought I was awful at drawing, I was actually average. Yay. Anyway I’ve almost kicked that habit, which is a miracle in and of itself. I’ve also learned a LOT about Illustrator in the first month of classes, which is a relief because I had a personal and work goal of learning to work using vector art as opposed to raster, and it’s coming along nicely.

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There is is. Don’t be like me, kids.

The Wrap Up:

  • It’s February which means the Super Bowl is this Sunday.
  • No, I couldn’t care less about either team.
  • I started my job last Valentines Day, which means I’ve lived in Cedar almost a year.
  • I probably have a Skype date with Damo this Valentines Day.
  • I bought Last Summer by Eleanor Friedberger (legally!) and I love it.
  • I think she’s pretty, but no one (and I mean no one) else I’ve talked to about it seems to think so.
  • I’m a little self conscious about how many parenthesis and dumb quotes I’ve used in this post.
  • I don’t know if I’m supposed to be throwing periods at the ends of these sentences
  • My newest iPhone addiction is Scramble with Friends, so if I start a game with you:
  • Please respond
  • I’m not terribly excited for taxes.
  • My niece can crawl now. (!)
  • I’m pretty sure I have shin splints from running so much. And it hurts my abs when I sneeze.
  • The pedo mustache and complimentary stringy beard are back for the foreseeable future.
  • I ordered the Royal Rumble last Sunday and I’m not quite sure if I’m glad I did or not, haermm.
  • Haermm is an inside joke, if you’re wondering.
  • I miss some of my old high school friends (Sherry, Mireya, Jake, etc), but I’m too proud to talk to them about some of the issues we had.
  • I haven’t gone to Snow Canyon in almost 3 years, which is mind blowing to me.
  • That nasty dashed drawing up there is some concept art from the 2D Design capstone I can’t seem to shut up about. It was supposed to be a pop-up book, but thanks to procrastination, it became a flash presentation.
  • Apparently Cedar has a DMV behind Lins. I found this out because I tried to renew my car’s registration on the last possible day at around 4PM.
  • Kelly is moving back to California and she’s going to Raw with my brother on the 13th. Insane amount of jealousy.
  • I picked a random new theme to go with for this, because I think you have to pay to design your own.
  • I had to refer to the Church website while writing this and I have to say it looks sexy. Am I allowed to use that word when describing something Church related? That’s your call.

I’m just going to end this awkwardly by saying “bye”.

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